fireplaces rule
by Sha'Neekwa
Summary: I took "The Girl in the Fireplace" and made it better. Mind blown!
1. fireplace discovered

**Ok, so the episode "The Girl in the Fireplace" was amazing. BUT WHAT IF I MAKE IT BETTER?!**

**Please review. It will take two seconds. Don't be lazy!**

**-Sha'Neekwa**

a french babe waz by a firplace as her pussuy boyfrend, who waz also french, sat nearby and wined. she yelled for help becuxz her wimpy boyfrend woodn't help. she new somone better waz coming... as she gazed intoo the flames of desteny.

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a looong time into tha futur, after dinosores had been cloned, ruled the earth, died again, and let tthe humans, take over there earthly domane agein, there was a spaceship. and... deeply,... another spaseship waz in the spaceship. butt it's better than a spaseship. it's a blue time and spase sip. it's called the TARPIS.

a dude in a stylin trenchcowt and a girl sho is blond and a black dood steppd owt. the trenchcoat boss wuz the doctor, rouler of time and spase. the blond girl is pritty cool. she's lovable and british. the other dood is mikey the idiot. nobody ever feels soory for mikey. even thoug rose dosn't like himm anymorr and the doctofr thingks hee's lame. but mikey the idiot hangs owt wtih them anyways.

as everyone ignord mikey the idiots awe at space ship, the doctor and rose used there smartdmaking to figiure owt that there in space on a spaseship.

rose waz all like, wat the eff weres everyone the crews gone!

and the docotor ewaz all like, wtf i know right!

so you dind't now this butt the doctor'ws an allien. he lives in a races of aliens that are eforever dead. hees the last of the time lords. he's full of loneyly allien nowledge. nobody, human, allien, or animal, can understnd his problems. a tear ran down his cheek. he wipped it away.

the doctor used his alien brainn to tell that the crew waz gone. there were supposed to be, like 8,000 of them wtf did they go?!

suddendly the doctor asaw a fireplace. it was from the 1700s. the doctor sayd this. rose thought this waz pritty cool. mikey the idiot waz all like, wat's a fireplace?

they looked inside and wtf? there waz a girl in the firplaswe! what what what what! she was tiny and blond. rose thought this waz prettiy cool becauze shees blond.

the doctor was all like, hello little girl what's up? where are you

and she awas all lieke, um, i'm in my house duh

he's like, where's that

and the little girl waz all like, um, i'm not telling you were i live weirdo but this is paris.

he's a lllike, what year is it i waanna know

and the likttle girl waz all like, LAY OFF THE DRINKE HOBO THIS IS THE 1700S!

and he's all like, omg i love the 1700s little girl

and she's all lkike cool., but why you in my firplace?

and he's like, i like it i'm the cleaning firplace man ok?

and rose and the doctor and mikey the idiot walked off and the kid went too sleep.

the doctor waz all like, hey rose you're pritty smart that waz a magic door, right?

and rose, using ther time travell ecksperience, sayd, uh huh, yes, doctory, it waz.

and they were both like, she waz french, that little girl

mikey they idiot then waz all like, nuh uh i herd eenglish, and mikey felt prowd off himselff.

rose waz all like, your so stoopoid the TARDIS translates!

the doctor saysd, yeah. he took off the stylin tranchcoat to prepeare for adventur.

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**What do you think? Please review! I really want to know!**

**-Sha'Neekwa**


	2. fireplace battle

**Hi! Chapter Two! Read on!**

**-Sha'Neekwa**

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so then after the doctor took off his tranchcowt to prepare for adsventurr he pulled reaally hard on tthe firplase. for some raeson, magically, that no man or beast will understtand, the firplace spun around. it was cool butt questionable. who built a fireplace that spins? anyways it was like in indiana jones when the firplace spins and that one lady yells, ALARM!

rose waz freaking owt becuze firplasses aren't supposed to do that. but the doctor didn't listen becuze he waz back in franse in a room. it waz night. there waz horses owtside. he explored around, looking at windows of france. the horse outsiddde freeked out and that woke up the little girl. she waz all like, OH MY GASH THIS IS MY HOUWS WATS GOING ON AAAA WTF?!

and the doctor was all like, hay don't screeem little girl

he used the magic screwdrivver to lite the lites. the skrewdrivver izn't magic its sonic

the little girl waz all like, wat are you doing here agaaaaiin?...

and then she waz all like, oh yeah and my names rainette because i forgot to tell yuo last timme.

and then the doctor waz all like, don't panic little rainette becuze your clock iz broken. that meens that there is crap hiding under your bed. that's the reeeeeal clock.

oh no!, rainette sayd.

yeah i know, sayd the doctor.

he went under her bed and LO AND BEHOLD! there is big clock clown down there! WTF?!

so theen the clock clown waz all mad and stood up.

you probbabley didn't know this butt the doctor is sykick. he put his hands on rainettes hed. shee swaz pritty creeped owt butt that's ok. he used powers to deeduce that rainette has had her brain scanned by clock clown.

the doctor then waz all like, CLOCK CLOWN THAT IS A VIOLATTION OF BASSIC HUMAN RIHGTS!

he got up bekauze he wanted to have fistycuffs with clock clown. clowck clown waz all like (in clock clown's head:) ok fine you wanna go ok. but didn't he say this becauze hee doen't say crap like that owt loud its rude and stuff.

but the sayed firsycuffs didn't happen becauze then the clock clown had a sward! wat! the sword waz in hiz arm! waaat!?

butt the doctor didn't care he was all like, haha clock clown your a nihgtmare and you're dumb.

and that tmade the clock clown mad. he all came at the doctor.

then the doctor wsaz all like, youu can't touch mee. haha. haha!

and then rainette waz all like, wow this guy a badass. she thought it waz cool. she waz like, 5 or 7 years old or something, so she thought men hurting clowck clowns waz cool.

and the doctor waz alla lieke, I AM CLOCK CLOWNS NIGHTMARE DIIE CLOCK CLOWN!

so then he did the indiana jones firplase thing agennn and so rose waz aklls like, wow doctor oh no it's a clockm clown

and then, using the clevernesse of an allien, hee used a gun that is fire extinguisher to get clock clown.

mikey the idiot waz all like, hay wat's going on that is clock clown wat's going on

the doctor admird the clock clown with wows. it waz pritty cool. hee didn't get hurt becauze clock clown waz frosen haha.

the clock clown teleproted. WOW IT CANN TELPROTE!

so then the doctor waz all like, oh well i waz expecting dat. stay rose,. mikey the idiot needs to stay too.

so then the doctor walked offe to journey into the adventures of the unknown unvirurse. rose waz all like, skrew this mikey, lets go kick some clowck clown butt and hang itss headd on the apartment walll.

MIkey can't use his own jugemeent. he followed rose. she had ready. or is she...?

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**Please review! I want to know what you think of this!**

**-Sha'Neekwa**


	3. quite proper

**hi there this ins mee! mee, the auther! im riting thiss speshial chappter for someone who rote a gest reveew! enjooy!**

**pleese reveew it wood make mee happy qweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!**

**-shaneeqwa**

"I've had an epiphany!" Rose told Mickey. "Would you like to hear it?"

"Why, yes, I would," replied Mickey the Imbecile.

"We're just as significant as the Doctor. We should be capable of seeking out the clockwork android without his assistance!" Rose exclaimed.

"Yes, quite," said Mickey the Imbecile.

Dame Tyler and Master Smith lay hands on their extinguisher weapons and set out on a quest to ensnare the clockwork fiend. Master Smith straightened his monocle. Dame Tyler couldn't conceive of what acts Sir Doctor was performing at that very moment.

**hillo this is mee agenn so isn't this boring... propper englissh isz borring. hope you eenjoyed the chaprter.**

**-shaneekqwa**


	4. woah there

**Here's the next chapter! (Imagine crowd cheering).**

**-Sha'Neekwa**

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so the doctor went vback intoo the franch firplace liike hee didd beffore. it spun like in idiana jones. he waz hin franse.

it wazn't night enymorre. it waz day. no clock clown. and wtf? the little girl waz gone oh well.

and the doctor waz all like, hay rainetee were arre yoou? clock clown not here just making sure.

there waz cool stuff in franse room. it waz all yellow and the plase had a harp. poshe. anyways hee waz pritty sure that clock clown waz gone. the clock waz still brocken and stuffd. but there waz no clock clown. NONE!

so then wile he waz eckzamining the cool franch room someone came in walkingf. the doctor looked up and WOAHH! that waz a hot chick.! it waz 1700s so she had dress,. her butt waz pritty bigh butt that's probbabley becauze of dress. she waalked in and looked really cool and hot. the doctor was all like, (in doctor's hed,:) woah.

hee's all like, i don't nkow yoou beeutigful lady of franch room house butt your not raineette so i'm gonna leave.

and shee waz all like, HAY YOUR THAT IMAGINRARY CLOCK CLOCK CLOWN HURTTING FREND HAY YOUR COOL!

so then the doctor all rekognized herr attidude. woooah, your rainette, hee sayd.

and she's all like, hi imadginery frend glad yoo came back.

and he waz all like, wow yoou got hot.

hee waz totally looking down herr shirt.

your not suupposed too do that but she was hot and franch.

so then she wasz all close and in his buiziness. thae doctor waz uncomfortable and awkwerd around womens. aeven rose.

so then she waz all like guess wat ARMPFH!

she totally stareted making owt with the doctor! he wasz all making owt and hee thouhgt that waz prittey cool! WAOH! they were totally backed agenst the firplase and this sene is totally innaproooprite bekuze the doctor met rainette wen she waz like a little girl so WTF!?

so then they stooped macking owt becuze rainettes mom or something i don't know waz callingf herr. so then the doctor waz alll like, woah that waz cool.

he felt like a stud. hee waz happy.

butt then this one dood came in and he waz all like, WTFUDGE hoo the CRAP ARE YOOU!?

and then the doctor waz all like, wait a minute. she's franch and her name is rainette and she's from frense and sh'es hot and she's richh and stuff and OMFUDGIEGOSH THAT"S FRICKING MADAME DE POMPADOUR NO WAY!

if you don't nkow hoo that is look her up on wikipedia. she's prittey cool but i didn't read the hole articleee. but if yoo don'te want too look hher uyp then i'll just telll yoou. she's a french lady and she hmade a bunche of accomplishmeents okay?

buutt just remember that THIS IS TIMME TRAVELL! it's another timme so rainette iz not little girl shee is lady!

but the doctor alreaady new this cfrap. hee's a time traveler. he knows crap. hee nows history. that's the time lord thing.

so then hee's all like, I JUST MADE OWT WITTH MADAME DE FREAKINCHG POMPADORE AND YOOU DIDN"T DSO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

he did the indioana jones firplase thisng and got back intoo futurr spase ship. he waz all like, rose gess whoo i just made owt with?

but then rose waz gone. then he realidszed, oh yeah mikey the idiot is gonne too.

the doctor waz all pissed. he likes rose and all butt DANG! shee runs off agenn! and mikey. hoo nkows the dammage mikey cooold cauze. he's an idiot. the doctor then went to ofind hizz buddies. fricking idiot. FOLLOW THE RULEZ OK! he thought to himmself owt lowd.

a horse showed up. an FRANCH horse! he wazz fromme franch! so then the horse wooldn't go awway!

so then the doctor wentt intoo a room. butt it wazm't a rooom itt waz franse! oh my goshh! so then madame doe pompadore waz there! the doctor hidd behindd a flower pot with walll and noboddy seaw himm.

jhee left the room bucuze madeame de opompadore leftt. he wnet backkkk intoo futuree spase shipp.

the doctor fownded rose and mikey the idiot. they found anotherr magical ddoor LO AND BEHHOLDE! it waz magic so wen rose llooked in shee could all see rainerrtte de pompadore. there waz dood in there too. the dood waz rich as yoou could seee bey his velour clothings. rose waz all like, wow look at that ladies big buut! but shee didn't say that owt loud becaze mikey the idiot waz there.

butt mikey the idiot had problemms of hiz own;. wow, looke at that guy, he saysd. hee's too rich!?

and the doctor showed up. hee waz aall likke, weell hee's the king of franch mikey the idiot, KEEP UP!

and rose waz all like, oh ok. hay is that lady the qween?

and the doctor waz all like, why, no, that beauteeful, sexy laddy is NOT the qween. she is all talenteed and stuff and she's the king of franches' misstress.

and rose waz all like, OMGOODNESSES THAT HUSSY! aoh and nicce horse btw.

and thae ddoctor waz all like, oh ok.

but then trubble waz afoott!

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**Thanks for reading! I know, this chapter had no clock clown, but keep reading! Review and tell me your thoughts!**

**-Sha'Neekwa**


	5. clock clown

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while!**

**-Sha'Neekwa**

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ok so the trubble that waz agfoot waz a CLOCK CLOWN! AOH NOO!

the doctor broooke the glass on the window and BLAMMMMM! hee waz in franch! the iking of franch had lefft the rooom because of hjis kingly dooties nand he waz scareed. so then madame de rainette pompadore waz all like, oh my gosh your thatt mann frum the firplase oh my gosh!

and the doctor waz all like, hi rainette and li'm nicee to seee yoo.

he had the firee eckstinguisher gunn. wtfudgemuffin did that comme frum i don't then he sprayed clock clown and clock clown waz all like, AAAAAAAAUAAAAA!

so then the doctor waz all o ilike, CLOCK LCLOWN WTF ARE U DOOING HERE DID YOUU COMME BACKK FUR MORE?!

and then clolck clowwn waz froszen. so then rainette waz all like, hay wat'sm gooing onn? why is there clock clown?

and then the doctor waz all like, well it waants too killl yoou sorrry.

so then rainette waz i like, oh no!

so then clock clown waz alll wakingg upp.

and then rainette waz all likeee, oh nio watt's gooing onn?

so then the doctor waz all like, oh it waants too kill everyone trainettte.

so then clock cclown woke up. it had sdword in armm oh no!

so then the doctor qwaz alll likeee, hey clock clown why you here and why youu wnatt to kill rainette3.

and clock clockwn waz alol like, well we got in a storm and ship space brokke dowwn.

so then the doctor waz all like, hay why? u still need to answewr quwestion dumboo!

and then clock clow wood not answerr and he just stood there and stufff.

so then the doctor waz all like, hey rauinertte your sort of like royality tell it itt shoold answerr mee and stuff

and so rainette wasz akll like, hay answerr him NOWW! he shoould be your masterr youu littler dingbatt!

so then the clock clown waza all like, we don't have partws.

and then the doctor waz all like, u have no parts?

and the clock clown waz all like, no PARTS ok owr shipp iz brocken down and wee neeed rainettes hed ok?

and the doctor waz all like, wtfudge NO!

and then clock clown waz all like, well we killed spase ship speople so wee need more parts.

and the doctor wasz all like, HOW DARE U MAKKE BARBYCUE OF PEOPLE CLOCK CLOWN!

and then rainette waz all like, u suck clock clown go away u suck!

and the doctor waz all like, wait don't tell it too go awway!

butt then clock clown teleproted! shazaam! wow! wared it go?

butt then the doctor waz all like, clock clown on ship of spase travvel. hay, rose, take mikey the idiot to find clock clown. also, take arther.

and rose waz all like, hay what are u talking about

and the doctor waz all like, arthuer the horse dangitt!

and all rose waz like, heck mno!

and the doctor waz like, well i let u have mikey

and rose waz all like, i hate mikey the idiot tooi!

and the doctor diddn't heer her because hee awaz egnoring her too talking too rainette de pompadore.

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**Yes, I know this chapter wasn't great. I'll try harder next chapter.**

**1,214 views. And out of all of that, only one person chose to favorite "fireplaces rule." 1,213 people disappointed. I am not amused.**

**Lolll j.k. yeah I am.**

**-Sha'Neekwa**


	6. deep connection

**I'm listening to a ****_Doctor Who _****playlist as I write this.**

**Anyways, if this chapter is at maximum ****_Doctor Who-_****ness, you know why. Dang, this music is inspirational.**

**-Sha'Neekwa**

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and so the doctor waz all likem, hay rainette you probaly diddn't knoww this butt i cann reead mindss.

so thene rainette wasz alll likke, um yeah i did last time you you were here beffore the timme wee madde owt you showwed mee yoo reead mindss.

and then the doctror waz all like, oh yeah i forgot

so then he put his hands on raintette's face andd hed and stuff and it wasz hot and spicy. their closeness waz all like, wow. and rainette thought it wazz pritty cool.

so then rainette waz all like, hay fireplase dood are u hittting onn mee?

and then thee docttor waz all ingnoring herr becuz hee waz read9ning herr mind.

so then the doctor waz like, hay don't think anything aeinappropritate becuze i'll see it ok

and she waz all likke, ok, but really no!

and the doctor waz all like, hay i see inapproprite stuff wtfudge

there waz memmories of rainette saying cuss wordss oh no! and of her doing badd srtuff and of thinkking abouut the doctor. that waz cool and uncomffortable at the same time. for everyone.

antd then the doctor waz all like, hay how old are u

and rainette waz all like, uhh... 18.

and the doctor waz all like, nope your 23 ok? and i guess clock clown don't want yoo yet. clock clown is stuoopid.

so then rainette waz all like, hay doctor yoo were oa loozer in high skool. yoo had no frends. that's so saaaaaad.

and then the doctor waz all like, hay how do you nkow my name is called doctor?!

and she waz all like, whille yoo were looking at innnapraoprite thougghts i waz in your hed it waz pritty cool.

and hee waz all like, nooo!

and she waz all like, doctor? doctor who?

and then that wazz pritty cool cuz as yoo may know the show is called DOCTOR WHO! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

and then the doctor waz all like, STOP SEEING STUVFF IN MY HED OK?!

and then rainette waz all like, hay yoo know what would bee pritty cool? if i taught you howw to dance, you rejecct of sosiety.

and the doctor awaz all like, noo yoo lerned my secrtet butt no i can't dance with yoo.

so then rainette waz akll like with royal almost athorityy, dance with me NOW!

so then the doctor fallowed herr to some ottherr roomm.

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anyways rose and mikey the idiot had there eckstinguisher gunds and they were all on space ship.

so then mikey waz all like, hay, rose, the doctor haz al lot of bitches. mikey the idiot said with smuggness.

but then rose waz all like, shut up mikey whoo are yoo talking too i don't knwo whoo your talking to shut the fudge up

and then mikey the idiot waz all like, well, he probablyy got funky with yoo, maddame de raainette pompadore, sarah jane smith, your mom, that one lady in that truck stop who wennt by the name "cleeopatra..."

hay hee only mentioneddd clleapopatra once! sayed rose with angryyness at mikey the idiot's stupidity. everybody hateds mikey the idiot

and mikey the idiot waz all like, hay he called herr cleo...

and rose waz all like, hay shut up NOW!

and then clock clown got mikey the idiot! oh no! mikey the idiot diddn't use his eckstiguisherr! and neither didd rose buecuze mikey the idiot miade herr angry! it wasz mikey"s falt!

rose wentt to sleep becauze off clock clown sleeep magic drug oh no rose! mikey went to sleeep too becuze of clock clown! how will happpen?

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**That was chapter six! Hope it was all right!**

**I'm not going to update for a few days. I'm visiting relatives, so I'm depressed. Maybe I'll channel my feelings of anger and dislike into this story. Could be a good thing. Anyways, I'm not in the mood to write this.**

**-Sha'Neekwa**


	7. clock clown gets revenge

**Was on hiatus for a while. I was working on other things. I now realize that this story is more important than those other things.**

**-Sha'Neekwa**

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ok so back rto mikey the iddiot and rose of the yeh clock clown used magic sleepp drugg on her and mikey the idiott. as u mayy rember, it waz mikey the idiots fualt. so then rose woke up and waz all alikee, DOCTOR OH MY GASH WTF WHERE AMM IU HEEEEELP

so then mikey the idiot waz all like, it waznt my faultt!

and then rose tyler wassz all thenn likee, shut up mikye the idiorrtt i knoww it iz.

but then there were a bunch more clock clowns! oh no! oh my gaaaashe! where is the doctor? why is hee nott helpp?!

so then rose waz brave . she stand oup to clock clown with her words off peower. she waza all likee, OH MY GASH CLOCK CLOWN YOUR SOO STUUPID I HATE YOU YOUR DUMM AND THE DOCTOR WILL KICK YOUR ASS GOT TO HELL NOGBODY LIKES YOU YOUR UGGLYY!

so then clock clown didn't listten! hee just toook out chainsswqaw in armm and waz all like, i'm gonna cut you rhead off, in his head.

so then rose wasz a little freightened and she wazz all like, ITHE DOCTORS GONNA KICK YOUR ASSSS EVERYTONE THINKKA YOUR UGGLYS AND HATES YOUU AND THE DOCTOR CAN KILL DALEKS AND HEES A BADDASSS AND A PLAYA AND HEES GOT A STYLIN TRANCHCOUT AND YOO DONT AND YOUR MASK IS USGLEY.

and GURESS WAT?! THE DOCTOR SCOMING! HEES GONNA KICK YOUR ASS

so then the doctor showed up. but rose wazn't all like, YAY! she waz all pissed off becuze the doctor waz drunked! oh no!

so then the doctor waz alll like, hi rose ti'm drunked.

and she waz all like, stop partying dumb ass nobody likees it when you do that, with truth

and then the doctor had theez weird sunglassseds shaded and he hads tie on his head. TIE DOES NOT GO ON YOUR HEDD DOCTOR ITT GOEES ON NECK DUMBASS!

so then the doctor took otu wine and bananea. HE WAZ all like, hay clock clowjn! hi hate yoo! then he used the wine to turrrn the banana into a gun with the sonic screwdrivver. BAMBAM BAM! he used the bana nagunnn to shhot down the clock clown.

ttheyy were all lik, eow OW OW OW! STOPR SHOOTING ME!\

so then they fell down and were like, OW!

so then the doctor said without mercy but witth much cooolnesss, rest in piecces.

so then ose waz still a little pissed offff butt much happy becuze doctot saved herr.

mikey the iddiot waz all like, my hero!

So thenn the doCtor waz all like, yeh ojk.

but then oh no! the clock wclown got up. he waz all like, I"LL GET U FOR THISS DOCTOR YOUVE FOYLED ME THISS TIMME BUT I"LL BE BACK SOON! I Will take YOUR poMDADORE"S HED FOR REVENGE AND TO FIX SPACE SHHIP HAHAHAHA!

so then all the clock clowns teleepotred oh no! where did they go? roze adsked, while mikey the idddiot waz all likke, wut? wat's going on?

so then the doctir waz all like, oh n they're getting madame de pompardore rainette oh no!\

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**Thanks for reading! Hope it was an okay chapter! Please review!**

**-Sha'Neekwa**


	8. womanly wisdom

**I just watched "The Girl in the Fireplace," so this chapter will be at maximum ****_Doctor Who_**** freshness.**

**-Sha'Neekwa**

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madame tsde rainettes pomadore wazza all in her house in castle, chiilllin. shee waz all likke, oh no i herd a noisse coulld itt bee clock clown? she wnet and wasz all likke, weelll clock isnt brocken and iii seee nooo stuffs of destriction so i guess its ok butt i'm stilll skared.

so then rose ashowed upp and rainette pompadore waz all like, OH MY GASH OH NO WAT WAT WAT THERE IDS MAYBBE CLOCK CLOWN WAT IS TTTHAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.!

and then she waz all likek, oh wait no that's rose. hi rose.

and rose wasz all like, stop no morre skreeeemingg madame the pompadoree. i needs to talkk tooo youu.

so then they weree talkingg witth womanley wizdum and warnning.

rose waz all like, in five year clock clown atttack. they will be all like, madame the pompadore weere gonna takkke u're hed.

aand thenn rainette pompadorre waz all like, oh no!

so then rose waz alll like, i knoww rightt?

so then rose waz all like, i don't dknow wat too say. that's bassicaly itt.

so then rainette waz all like, wtf how do freakin clock clowns get in i do not understand explain NOW! wat iz the sekret off timme traval?!

and roze awaz all like, no time pompadore!

and rainette waz all likee, hay wut there are five years

and roze waz all likke, butt i am timme traval.

so then madame de pompardore waz all like, omgash just tell me]

and then so rose waz all likke, well there is space ship and there atre clock clowns on it, there is timme rtraval on space shhip.

madame de pompadore waz all likke, that's not coool. the doctor can beee alll like, hay i'm gonna go see raintette and timme traval and stuff and so can clock clown that's messed up. i have to have ligfe and be in fracnch.

rose waz all like, sorrry.

rose waz all likke, this iss bad timme traval clock clown not supposed to be in franch! u were'n't supppossed to see the doctor and stuffs.

rainette de pompadaore didn't raeally get timme traval even touhg she tried. excuse me, she said. stop trying to steel my relationsship, she thougght. she waz all like, that dusn't make any freakin sencse. it waz suppesed to heppen. you're a child ok?. i can not timme travel and deal with clock clown becuze the doctor is the angel., she sed with poetic womans wizdom.

rose waz imrpressed by woman's wisdum.

butt then mkikey the iddiont shoowed upp to ruinn the momment. he wasz all olike with loudness, errmf my gash rosem the doctor wfound right timme windowd and hee cann heer fracnch peeple. oh my gash!

butt then madame the pompadore waz all on tehe space shipp! oh nno!

roswe waz all likee, oh my gsash get puout of there your not spossed too bee inn they're!

moadame de pompaddore wazn't listenninng and waz ignoring rose. it wasz mikey the iddiont's fualt forr lletting herr inn they're.

madame de pom[adore waz all like, the doctor libve in ugly space ship workld oh my gash

and then rose wazz alll likke, sorry.

so then there waz the sownd off fraches peeple skreeming oh my goash! madame the pompadore waz all like, wtf isz thatt de futur?

rose waz all like, yeh. sorry.

madame ede pompandore waz all listenning. suddanly, low and beyhold!

she herd her voice from the beginning wen she wazz all like, doctor cumm help from the fireplacce of destiny and her pudssey bouyfrend waz there.

so madeame the pompadore waz pretty firickin scareed buy then. she waz all like, ohh noo that's my voiice forom the futurr.

rose waz all like, yeahh, sorry.

she told mikey the idiot to get hiss shiny ass out of there. he left like an iddiont becuze hees ann idiott. rose got closedr too rainette de pompadore to bee comfarting.

hay asre u ok? she asked with sympatthy.

no i am sacaredd off futture. rainette the pompadore saidd.

rose gavve herr a jhug and skweezedd with niseness.

rose waz all likke, the doctor's gonna savee u. she didn't say anyy words after thatt becuze she didn't havve worrds too sayy.

rainette waz alll likke, the doctor is cool. monsters are lamerr then the doctor, u and i both know that rose, rightt?.

she said that with womans wizdom then left and went insidde franch. she went intto her casttle houwse.

rose waz all likke, damm i cant evenn hatte her becuze she's a badass. (don't u hate it whhen that happpens? when you likke saomeboddy butt they likke someboddy elsee and thae person they likke is a baddass and is nice and stuff so u can't hatte them?)

rose looked backk witth sadnesss. butt thenn she hass to ggo becuzze of suspencse oh no! wut will happens next? will they savve rainette the pompadore?!

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**How was it? I hope it was a good chapter. Please review after you read!**

**-Sha'Neekwa**

**l**

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**V**

**(That's an arrow BTW.)**


	9. battle cry and betrayal

**Long absence from this story, but now I'm back! Woo!**

**I've decided to put in a revised edition in the back of this story. I'll spell things right and translate "fireplaces rule" for anyone who doesn't understand my regular format. See how clever I am?**

**-Sha'Neekwa**

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rose, after her emotional womanly jest withie madeame the pompadore, waz qwite emottional and waz having too git over itt fasst. she had busziness to do. in a wurld of time and angells and clock clown this stuffs wazn't imporrtant. it coulddn't bee.

rose ran with all the speedianess of all her mightt. then she sawed the doctor. with brightt eyses shee sayd, oh no yoo found clock clown no timme too lose lets kick there ass!

the doctor waz all like, um, jno, i ccan't do that right noww.! keep upp rose!

hee waz qwite rood. mikey the idioot ran around in sircles in pannic and cunfuzion.

rose wasz all like, wtf i waz just tryiing to be help. but the doctor wazn''t listining! oh the rood!\

what i diddn't menton beffore waz that there waz timme portal windoows. i think i didn't i donn't know maybe i did it's beeen a wile ok? but there waz a big onne hear. yoou cuould seee fracnch in it oh myy gash it waz stunning and brethless at the samme time!

there were franch peepsles running around arnd skreeming in it. they were beeing wimpy dang franch peeple! they need to shut up annd let consentrate but theyy wont!

let mee takke yoo ovver to franch point-of-view. aktually, jusst pompadore the reinette's point of view. shee's important not franch although she is inn fracnch.

anyways, herr pusssy boyfrend, whho turnedd out to be the king of fracnch (wtf did they putt him asz kinng of franch i doo not know. that's why america izz good becuze of freedom and stuff and no king NONE! or even a qween ok but for mnow we're just takking about alliens and franch and britissh. we'lll talkk abowt america later ok?)

butt anyways back to her pussey boyfrind and rainette. youu know wat? that pussey boyfrend just waz all like, don't hurt me i just ppeeed my pants oh no! to the clock clowns but then he waz all likke, here take rainette the pompadore not me insted she's tasty! yoo kan have her i wants to livve!

let me tell yous wat jjusst happpaned: that PUSSEY BOYFREND JUSST GAVE UPS RAINETTE THE POMPADORE TO CLOCK CLOWN! THAT COWARDICELY BASTARDD!

so then, rainette, being the classsy sortt of roayalty lady that shee iss, WOULD NOT GIVE IN WITHIOUT A FIGHT! NO! when clock clown come for her she waent, HEIEEEEEYA! she spunned aroound, skirts and underclothingskirts flying and flasshings, and roundhowesed kickked the clowck clown in the face! she pusnched andd hedbutted another one in the hed as itt camed for herr. she waz all like, heyiiiya! with fightingg yells of anger and no!

the battled raged on for some timme fnow, butt then clcock clown cammed around and grabbed her around the waiist oh no! it fgrabbed herr and she coouldn't get away! oh no!

COWARDD! raeinette spittedd at pussey king of franch seethinggly with anggers and betrayal. yoou cann find yourself annother f***ingg partner to warmm your bed bekause we are througgh! you do not get womean's touch yoou cowarsd! you will nevver agein be lover with these, she sayd, pointing at her wonman's breassts, a breastss of beautyy and regallnesss.

rainette kicked king off franch and cowardice inn hiz "crown jewels" (meening hiz nutts) and then clock clown pulld her away to meet her faate. and, this will makke yoou happy ok: thhey allso took king of franch az a punnishment for his cowardness. HAHAHAHA! succks for you, king of franch!

as the clock clownss ppulled rainette donwn the palace hallway in franch, maybe to mmeet herr forevar doom, rainette threw herr beatiful hedd back, now contortedd with a face of fury. she bared her teeth to amazzinng sharpnesss. she yelled with a warrior qween, a true warriorr royalty's, yell of fury, DOCTOR, YOOU WILL AVENGE ME YOU SUN-OF-A-BITCH! she yelled with belief thatt resonated through the waallls off hallway and franch, and all could heer.

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faar away, in the disttant spase shi[p somewere faar away, the doctor's eyes fllasshed open, heering rainettte's cry.

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**Not the longest chapter, but I think that this is how it's meant to be. Please review! Hope you were filled with hope and enjoyment during this chapter!**

**-Sha'Neekwa**


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